


a shadow cast upon a wall is silhouette and nothing more

by mysilenceknot



Series: stars are magic, life is tragic [3]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, Exes, M/M, implied Dom/sub play
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-20
Updated: 2017-03-20
Packaged: 2018-10-08 11:25:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10385619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mysilenceknot/pseuds/mysilenceknot
Summary: “If you hurt him –” Barry began again.“Are you really trying to give me the shovel talk? I’m pretty sure you’re the last living person in this universe or in my own to have the right to do that.” The mocking glee on his face melted into a low boiling anger. An expression that Barry had been the victim of all too often lately.Barry took a step back.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I really meant to work on a direct follow up to my most recent Reverb/Vibe fic but here we are instead. This fic can be read as a standalone - everything that needs to be known about this ficverse is mentioned in this story. Title comes from [These Streets](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zEratQ9p7nM) by Bastille.

The opening of a breach made a distinct whooshing noise. It was the walls of the universe folding back into themselves, sucking the air from the area back into the shifting void that separated all areas of the multiverse, making a sound like the crackling of a thunderstorm storm combined with the rush of wind in a whirlpool.

  


* * *

  


Barry had grown used to occasionally hearing the crash of a breach opening from Cisco’s bedroom. The first time it’d happened, only a few days into his stay in Cisco’s apartment after leaving the West home, he’d instinctively run from the guest room into Cisco’s room, just in time to see the blue of the breach blink into non existence. It was an agonizing wait for Cisco to return, a wait that Barry fell asleep halfway in to. When he finally awoke it was already the next morning, and Cisco was sitting on the other couch in the living room, sipping a mug of coffee and giving him a slightly amused smile.  


“What, no breakfast in bed today?”  


Barry quickly sat up, rubbing his face to clear the imprints the couch had pressed into his skin. “Sorry, I was... I didn’t mean to fall asleep out here.”

“That’s okay,” Cisco replied, standing up to walk into the kitchen. "I went grocery shopping yesterday so there’s lox for your bagels if you want that.”  


Barry ran to the bathroom to wash his face and brush his teeth, then ran to the bedroom to change into work-appropriate attire, then ran back to the kitchen to fix himself food. In that time Cisco had made it back into the kitchen to grab his own breakfast.

“So,” Barry awkwardly started once Cisco was sitting down. “Where did you go last night?”  


Cisco momentarily froze before lifting his spoon to his mouth to take a bite of cereal. “What do you mean by that?” he said after chewing, refusing to make eye contact with Barry.

“I heard a breach open. And I tried to stay up for you to come back but I guess I fell asleep.” Barry watched Cisco stir his cereal for a few moments. “You didn’t tell me that you were going to other universes on your own.”  


This was the wrong thing to say. Cisco looked up to meet Barry’s eyes. He looked angry, cold. “There are lots of things I haven’t told you,” he said in a dark voice. “And I don’t think you’re entitled to know.”

Barry felt a spark of anger. “Excuse me?”

“I’ve let you back into my home despite everything. And if I’m not mistaken, once you take a break from a relationship you’re allowed to keep your secrets again, right?” Cisco took another bite of his food before muttering, “not that you’d ever stopped in the past.”

A low blow.

“Fine,” Barry snapped, standing from the table. “I’m sorry I asked.”  


Cisco’s face didn’t quite soften, and yet. “All you need to know,” he said, “is that I’m not doing anything dangerous. And that if you mention to anyone that I’ve been leaving the universe I’m kicking you out faster than even you can blink.”

  


* * *

  


There was no rhyme nor reason to what time Cisco would leave, or how often he’d leave, or how long he’d be gone for. All Barry knew was he’d come back looking slightly less exhausted, slightly less anxious, slightly less sad. They didn't speak about it.

  


* * *

  


When Barry heard the breach break through in Cisco’s bedroom, he almost paid it no mind. Except then he remembered that Cisco wasn’t here. That it was Thursday night and Cisco was out with Iris. That the pair were probably at his - Iris’s - the apartment he was no longer welcome in. His thoughts jumbled together and he felt a rush of panic as he raced into Cisco’s room.

Standing in the center stood... Cisco? No, not Cisco. This man stood tall with no hint of a slouch, wore dark and tight clothing, had no trace of warmth in his eyes as they turned at the sound of motion. Barry moved to pin the doppleganger against the wall but as the plan developed into a full thought Reverb reached out, pinning Barry to the spot he’d stopped at.

What...

“Oh,” Reverb said, looking momentarily surprised. “It’s you.” He lowered his hand and Barry tried to run towards him but was only able to take one normal step forward. The room lurched; he grabbed his head and fell onto his knees.  


“What?” he gasped.  


“Blocked your speed, sorry.” Reverb didn’t seem one bit sorry.  


Barry closed his eyes, disoriented. “Why did you do that?”

“Can’t trust a speedster, now can I? All they do is fuck things up irreparably.”  


“You’re dead,” he said, but obviously that wasn’t true. Earth-2′s Cisco Ramon was here and had knocked the wind out of him.  


The laughter was harsh. “What’s the point of living if you don’t manage to fake your death to get out of a sticky situation at least once?”

Barry opened his eyes. Reverb was staring down at him with a sneer. He slowly rose to his feet and matched Reverb’s stare. “What are you doing here?”

“My engagement tonight fell through so this seemed like my next best bet. But,” he sighed, “I guess I judged wrong. Any clue where Francisco is?”

Barry blinked. The way Cisco’s name was said felt wrong, felt too tender to have come out of that man’s mouth. “You didn’t answer my question,” he said.

“And while I can answer my own, it’d be faster for both of us if you answered it for me.” Reverb sat on Cisco’s bed. “Where is he?”  


“You first.” Barry crossed his arms. “Why the fuck are you here?”  


The pair stared at each other for a few moments, only the sounds of the city filling the silence.

“Fine,” Reverb said, a smile slowly creeping onto his face. “Cisco and I have an... arrangement, is what you might call it. And since I was suddenly free tonight, I wanted to see if he wanted some fun.”  


It took a few moments for Barry to catch what Reverb was implying; as soon as it clicked he felt himself going red with anger. And he knew, he _knew_  he had no right to be angry, no room to comment on who Cisco chose to spend time with, no way to justify the possessive flare that rose from his gut. His relationship with Cisco was in tatters but --

“If you hurt him,” he found himself saying. Barry was shaking with rage as he walked right up to the bed so he was staring down at Reverb. “If you hurt him --”  


“We both know he likes getting hurt,” Reverb interrupted, grin still plastered on his face all wrong. Barry wanted to punch it off of his face.  


“But I’m sure that’s not what you were trying to say,” Reverb continued. He casually leaned back away from Barry, spreading his arms away from his sides so he could prop himself up on the bed in a lazy way.  


“If you hurt him --” Barry began again.  


“Are you really trying to give me the shovel talk? I’m pretty sure you’re the last living person in this universe or in my own to have the right to do that.” The mocking glee on his face melted into a low boiling anger. An expression that Barry had been the victim of all too often lately.  


Barry took a step back.

“So,” Reverb said, all business. “I answered your question. Answer mine.”  


“He’s with Iris. It’s Thursday.” His voice was flat. He felt drained, his anger slipping away as he realized that Reverb knew what had happened, whether it was from Cisco or from Reverb’s own investigative work. There was nothing else to say, really.

Reverb tilted his head as he leaned forward to sit more properly. “Francisco told me about her.” He studied Barry carefully before stating, “she’s too good for you.”

A slap. No, a punch. It was like being punched in the face and Barry inhaled quickly because if Reverb knew as much as Barry feared he did, there’s nothing Barry could ever say that could sway his mind. His eyes pricked with tears. It was so much more horrifying to hear his unspoken thoughts spoken by someone who shared the face of a man who no longer loved him back, a man who was out with his -- what were he and Iris even right now, they weren’t exes but they weren’t together but they were meant for each other but he was alone and she was with Cisco and. 

Barry sniffed and turned away.

“I can see them,” he heard Reverb say. “They’re beautiful together.”  


Barry whirled back around, eyes shining with unshed tears and unhidden anger. “You don’t get to see her,” he hissed. “I don’t know what the fuck your arrangement with Cisco is but that doesn’t mean you get to intrude on her life.”

“Fine,” Reverb said, opening his eyes and waving at the air as if he was swatting away the vision he’d pulled up. “You have a point there, and I try to avoid giving Cisco reasons to be mad at me.” The mocking grin was back on his face. “Maybe you should give it a try one of these days.”  


Before Barry could come up with a response, Reverb reached out and ripped open a breach. “Tell Cisco I stopped by,” he said. “Or don’t. He’ll know where to find me.” And with that he turned and went back to Earth-2.

  


* * *

  


It’d been such a long time since Barry was able to get drunk. Only four years, sure, but that felt like decades considering how much bullshit the last four years had contained. So he savored it, starting with one of the beers in the fridge, eventually moving to taking long swigs of rum.

Reverb hadn’t unblocked his speed. Dick.

The alcohol hit him faster than it had back before he had his speed and Barry savored the descent into sluggish darkness. Just him and his guilt and self-loathing, and Reverb’s voice echoing in his brain.

_Dick._

He, unfortunately, hadn’t managed to get blackout drunk before Cisco got back to the apartment. Barry didn’t bother trying to move, not that he could have easily gotten up from the couch while that wasted. He opened his eyes when he heard Cisco stop in front of him.

Barry and Cisco stared at each other in silence. The seconds stretched until Cisco sighed and pressed his palm against his forehead.

“Reverb blocked your speed.”  


Barry nodded.

“And you decided to get drunk in response?"  


“Don’t have that option very often, now do I,” Barry said, words tripping over each other. “The last time I didn’t have access to my speed --” Barry stopped, snapping his mouth shut. Cisco looked vaguely pained, vaguely uncomfortable. It was another reminder of how the timeline had changed, of how he’d brought their relationship crashing down. But instead of letting Barry know exactly what the other version of himself had done when he gave up his speed to save Wally’s life, Cisco sidestepped the latter half of the comment.

“Right. Okay. Cynthia taught me how to reconnect speedsters who have been blocked from the Speed Force. But I think we should do it in the bathroom.”  


Barry groaned as Cisco pulled him up into a standing position. He closed his eyes as they walked to the bathroom. The world was shaking.

“Okay,” Cisco said. He sat Barry at the edge of the bathtub and closed his eyes. Within seconds Barry felt the electricity crackle underneath his skin. And as the Speed Force hummed back through his body, Barry immediately lurched forward to throw up. Heaves wracked his body, trying to purge his stomach of all the alcohol he’d consumed, the buzz of being intoxicated rapidly gone. He felt Cisco rub his back as he finished throwing up, and he immediately burst into hysterical tears, a combination of sadness and mortification blending together.

“Can you just give me a second?” Barry pleaded, gripping the cold porcelain bowl. The hand on his back moved away as Cisco quietly left the bathroom.  


Barry flushed the toilet, washed his face, brushed his teeth. He walked calmly back into the living room where Cisco had begun cleaning up the mess Barry had left. “Here,” Barry started, but Cisco lifted one hand up to stop him.

“No, I’ll clean it up. It’s fine.”  


Barry bit his lip, standing awkwardly as Cisco collected the crushed beer cans into a trash bag.

“Does Iris know?” Barry finally asks, the one question burning in his mind that he felt he had a right to know the answer to. “About you and Reverb.”

“Yes.”  


Barry blinked back the tears that hadn’t really gone away after his brief breakdown. Everything was so...

“It didn’t start until after we’d taken a break. The sex part of it, at least.” Cisco stopped cleaning but didn’t look up. “And I... it was while Iris and I were also separate, so after the three of us had that talk about what our relationship could be, I told her. Because I needed to.”  


His tears really needed to stop but the more Cisco spoke the harder it was for him to keep them inside.

It’d been a difficult set of break ups. Initially Cisco had simply put a pause on his relationships with both Barry and Iris after Dante’s death, but then he found out about Flashpoint and. That was that. So Barry was dating Iris, and Iris was dating Cisco, and Barry was still in love with Cisco despite how hard he tried not to be.

Barry wanted to feel betrayed that there had been _anything_ going on between Cisco and Reverb while he and Cisco were together, because even though it was an open relationship there was still supposed to be communication and trust and all of that, but he also didn’t _know_ that Cisco had never mentioned it to him, because he wasn’t the same goddamn Barry Allen that had dated this version of Cisco in the first place. He wasn’t even sure what he was most upset about, really. The fact that Cisco occasionally left the universe to take comfort in his double? The fact that Cisco had told Iris and she was okay with the entire thing? The fact that he now knew the answer to what he’d asked all those months ago and the answer was outside of what he’d imagined?

The fact that Cisco had once been his best friend and now it was like they barely knew each other at all?

No, they knew each other too well now. Which is why there was such distance.

Barry stood silently crying as Cisco rambled, not quite trying to justify his actions but not quite stating them as facts that had no room for debate. Barry closed his eyes and tried to take deep breaths.

“He helps, okay? He helps and he understands and he’s a _dick_  but I don’t have to worry about a lot of the things I have to worry about in my other relationships.” Cisco stopped. “Barry? Look at me.”  


Barry opened his eyes. Cisco was standing in front of him, looking worried. He rubbed his face with one hand, taking slow deep breaths so he could calm down.

“I’m sorry Reverb did that to you. He reacted by instinct to shut your speed off, I’m sure, but he shouldn’t have left you like that.”  


“I thought he left me with my powers blocked so you would know that he’d been here.”  


“No,” Cisco said. “I knew he’d been here because I felt him step through the breach. He left you like that because he’s vindictive and angry. But whatever he said to you - he was trying to rile you up. Don’t worry about it.”  


Barry wasn’t sure which one of them Cisco was trying to convince more. Of course Cisco and Reverb were two entirely different people, but they knew each other extremely well. How much of what Reverb had said were things that Cisco himself had thought?

“You’re right,” Barry said with a sigh, trying not to beg for reassurance that Cisco didn’t agree with Reverb. “It doesn’t matter what he said. And I’m glad that Iris knows.” He bit back what he wanted to say, and he knew that Cisco could tell that he was refraining from speaking, but Cisco didn’t prod.  


Instead, Cisco reached forward to brush away some of the tears sticking to Barry’s cheeks. Barry instinctively leaned into Cisco’s hand, closing his eyes as the palm rested gently against his face for a few moments. Cisco’s second hand pressed against his other cheek and he felt Cisco’s lips brush against his forehead. A tender kiss. An apology? When Barry’s eyes opened again, Cisco looked stricken, having pulled completely away.

“I’m sorry,” he said softly. “I shouldn’t have done that.”  


“Okay.” Barry’s voice cracked. “Goodnight.” He turned and rushed into the guest room.

  


* * *

  


Barry had finally cried himself out when he heard the crash of a breach opening in the living room. He laid in the dark and stared at the ceiling. The walls of the universe rebuilt; the whooshing gave way to silence. He was all alone in the apartment once more.


End file.
